After His Second Nephrectomy

Is my hospital gown tied in the back? Why can’t I pee anymore? I take my time tying the cotton strings while I try to figure out how to answer the second question. There you go, Dad; we don’t want you flashing those pretty nurses. After the deluge of scans, lab tests, signed DNRs & consent forms, how did this important detail go unexplained! My mom is grabbing grub from the hospital cafeteria. It’s up to me to explain how his life will be without kidneys. I’ve only seen my dad cry a few times. I squeeze his trembling hand. Perhaps a transplant? Could you? Would you?

prune the roses
lone branch takes root
hope blooms

Child’s Pose

I made a tunnel vision decision. After all, it was my body, my kidney. Once the excitement of Yes! I’m a match! had settled in my bones, questions arose. And doubt tried to take up residence. I lost count how many times I heard, “You’re so brave, I don’t know if I could do it.” Even my ex had asked, “Are you sure he deserves it?” Most of these were easy to shake off. My resolve grew as the day drew near. And then my daughter asks, “Mom, what happens if you need a new kidney, someday?”

on the table
light hovers above
ten nine eight seven six …

Shawn Aveningo-Sanders’ poetry has appeared in journals worldwide, including Calyx, OneArt, Quartet, About Place Journal, Timberline Review, Sheila-Na-Gig, Snapdragon, Amsterdam Quarterly, and many others. Author of What She Was Wearing (2019), her manuscript, Pockets, was a finalist in the Concrete Wolf Chapbook Contest (2024) and is forthcoming from MoonPath Press in late 2025. Shawn is two-time Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net nominee. A proud mom and Nana, she shares the creative life with her husband in Oregon. In 2009 she donated a kidney to her father.