A Morning Lesson

The first winter without father
I am watching the chai on the stove
as cardamom and garam masala sputter
and kiss metal. I pour a glass for Maa
and me, breaking hundreds of buttery layers
of my crisp and crackling laccha paratha,
dipping crust into my steaming teacup
to find iridescent pools of glazed ghee
swirling at the surface. From the chair beside
me, the blessed scent of sandalwood and
after shave from my father’s flat woolen cap
cocooned there.

A herd of deer are grazing on berry branches
outside the window where Alexa sits
to tell us the day’s forecast. We watch
their graceful symphony of shimmer
from frost-coated antlers, manes, and hooves.
I feel coal eyes, hot through the foggy pane.
A doe scans, circumspect, as the fawns delight
on crimson bursts at the forest’s edge.

The doorbell does not ring.
The children who would have asked to shovel
are grown. The ones who need money
have other plans. I would have paid
a hundred dollars for a child to fall
into the plush, white earth, rosy cheeked and
giggling, fashioning half-moons of celestial wings.
I am reluctant to fly myself.

Maa moves like clouds
from the breakfast table.
I follow, keeping pace, lagging
behind like a newborn calf.
A four-handed choreography
debuts at the kitchen sink.
As long as I move as her shadow,
the clouds can withhold the rain.

A list finds itself in Maa’s pruned palms.
Foods needed from Patel Brothers.
Limbu. Dahi. Bhindhi. Kela.
Appointments to be made for the week.
Renew license. Write a will. Tour open houses.
In teal cursive, she crosses out words
and doodles paisley mangoes, framing
the scrap of paper.

Today is another morning lesson
where we learn the movements of snow angels.

Preeti Shah is a Queens-based poet who was a Brooklyn Poets 2019 Fall Fellowship Finalist. She has work upcoming in Sukoon and Construction. She served as Assistant Director of Communications for YJ Perspectives Magazine. She has spent the last six years working in the physical therapy field with the geriatric population. She wants to bring awareness of stroke research and to encourage everyone to recognize the signs of stroke: FAST (Facial drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulties, and Time to call emergency services).