Singing Tree of Trust by Amy Oestreicher

I created “Singing Tree” during one of the most difficult periods in my life. In 2010, after a seemingly successful surgery, I took a trip to California, only to be air-vacced back to Yale Hospital in the middle of the night because my wound had burst and I had suddenly developed several fistulas. I spent almost three months at Yale, again being unable to eat or drink, as doctors wrapped their heads around healing this fistula and open wound. At a time when hope was extremely sparse, I yearned for some sort of outlet to express not only my agony, but the “me” that was lying dormant underneath the medical crisis—the “who I am” part of the patient—my vitality, ME. I found my way to painting accidentally on the road to healing. My mother went back to our house and gathered whatever art-related supplies she could find, running to an art store to grab some paints, brushes, and scraps of felt on the way. Armed with these, a pad of canvas paper, and some Yale toilet paper for added texture, I obsessively created every day.

Each morning before the doctors came in for rounds, I’d paint feverishly whatever abstraction came to mind and what evolved from my situation. When I completed my pieces, I felt like I had not only gotten out my frustrations and worry, but also found a place of joy and gratitude. I would put each canvas outside my hospital room, and soon the unit began to catch on, even taking patients by my room to see whatever I had created that day. Now, I was sustaining my aliveness and inspiring others, which filled myself with unanticipated meaning and satisfaction. Ironically, the darker the circumstances became, the more joyous my paintings seem today. Every tree seems to be singing and dancing, although the teardrops and lightning bolts are always streaked across the bold backgrounds.

Once I discovered painting, my world changed. I had found a way to express things that were too painful, complicated, and overwhelming for words. Suddenly, when the uncertainty around me seemed frighteningly unmanageable, the strokes of my paintbrush could soothe me as I created a peaceful world that my soul longed to rest in as a place of peaceful solace. My passion could ignite instead of my anger and despair. And slowly, the good feelings overwhelmed the bad because I could control the positive world portrayed on my canvases with what my subconscious chose to create. And I still believe that attitude is everything.

Although medical circumstances may be ongoing for me, I am long past my bleak days at Yale. With the amazing staff and support at the hospital, my wonderfully supportive family, my passion and a paintbrush, I was able to keep my soul alive for that uncertain time in my life. Life may always be predictable, but art can always find the beauty in the detours.

Nine Seasons of Trust by Amy Oestreicher

These are nine canvases I created to show my growth with the idea of trust through my own traumas. The medium is mixed media and acrylic and each canvas is 16 x 9. My feelings on trust: I grew up believing that my entire life would be dedicated to the performing arts. Now, I’m also a survivor and “thriver” of sexual abuse, 27 surgeries, coma, organ failure, and the PTSD that comes from ten years of trauma—or what I now call my “beautiful detour.”

When I was 18 years old, a blood clot caused my body to go into septic shock. I was in a coma for six months, and after a total gastrectomy, I was unable to eat or drink a drop of water for six of the past ten years. After 27 surgeries, I was miraculously reconnected with the intestines I had left. To persevere through those tumultuous years took great inner and outer strength—strength I didn’t know I was capable of until I was tested.

I learned that the human spirit feeds off of hope, and hope is fuel we can cultivate ourselves. Ultimately, I learned that with resourcefulness, creativity, and unwavering curiosity, we can transform any adversity into personal growth and a resilience that is uniquely ours.

Everything became possible once I was willing to intentionally wander from the life I planned and embrace this “detour” as an opportunity for discovery. This is not the life that I planned for myself—but does anyone’s life ever work out exactly how they plan it?

So many gifts came out of this. I discovered painting in hospitals and flourished as a mixed media artist with solo art shows, merchandise and creativity workshops. I wrote a one-woman musical about my life, Gutless & Grateful, which I’ve performed in theaters across the country for three years and now take to college campuses, conferences and support groups as a mental health awareness and sexual assault prevention program. After never having a boyfriend in my life, I tried online dating, got married, did a TEDx Talk about it, and then, when suddenly faced with divorce, I realized strength I never knew I had. And I finally started college…at 25 years old.

I was not able to fully appreciate the beauty of my detours until I was able to share them. As a performer, all I’ve wanted to do was give back to the world. But now I have an even greater gift to give: a story to tell.

Amy Oestreicher is an Audie Award–nominated playwright, performer, and multidisciplinary creator. A singer, librettist, and visual artist, she dedicates her work to celebrating untold stories, and the detours in life that can spark connection and transform communities. Amy overcame a decade of trauma to become a sought-after PTSD specialist, artist, author, writer for The Huffington Post, international keynote speaker, RAINN representative, and health advocate. She has given three TEDx Talks on transforming trauma through creativity, and has contributed to NBC’s Today, CBS, Cosmopolitan, Seventeen Magazine, The Washington Post, Good Housekeeping, and MSNBC, among others. Amy has toured her multi-award-winning musical, Gutless & Grateful, to over 200 venues, from 54 Below to Barrington Stage Company, since its 2012 NYC debut, and developed her full-length play, Flicker and a Firestarter, with Playlight Theatre Co. Her multimedia musical, Passageways (original lyrics, music, book and mixed media artwork), has been performed at HERE Arts Center, Dixon Place, and the Triad Theater. Her plays have been published by Eddy Theatre Company, PerformerStuff, Narcissists Anthology, New World Theatre’s A Solitary Voice: A Collection of Epic Monologues, and were finalists in Manhattan Repertory’s Short Play Festival, NYNW Theatre Fest, #MeTooTheatreWomen, NYC Playwrights’ Women in the Age of Trump, and Tennessee Williams’ New Orleans Literary Festival. She has recently published her memoir, My Beautiful Detour: An Unthinkable Journey from Gutless to Grateful. See more at www.amyoes.com.