Cover Image: Reconstructing Hope by Laura Vitale
Previously published in the I Will Not Be Silenced series as Reconstructing Laura (2018)

Down Into the Blue Again by Laura Vitale
From the That’s Me in Paint series (2009)

I Will Not Be Silenced by Laura Vitale
Previously published in the I Will Not Be Silenced series (2018)

Taking Back the Color by Laura Vitale
From the That’s Me in Paint series (2009)

My Savior Is Me by Laura Vitale
Previously published in the I Will Not Be Silenced series (2018)

My paintings, done in acrylics on drawing paper, are reflections of my inner process and my experience of the psyche as it manifests through my dreams and intuitions. Painting provides a place for me to step outside the box of rational thought, a place to be with my feelings and give them expression.

Process painting is about showing up in the present moment with whatever you’re feeling and allowing that feeling to take you wherever you need to go. No feeling is outlawed, judged as a “negative,” or pushed aside. No shame, no blame, no expectations of artistic brilliance, nor of transcendent consciousness. “No matter what you feel is okay,” is my affirmation. Then I must just get out of my own way and let the painting happen.

Standing before my color board with this in mind, I watch to see what colors grab my eye. Pulling a tube of each of these colors from my painting box, I squeeze a blob of each onto my palette. Within a minute or two it becomes clear to me which color wishes to speak first. I grab a hold of that feeling with the paint and release it onto paper. Then I follow it where it needs to go, even if it makes no sense. Another color comes forth, followed by yet another, as I continue blending with brushes, palette knives, kitchen utensils, fingers, sponges…whatever tools I need.

I know I’m done painting, when my feelings shift. First they move me, then they move from me onto the paper. Allowing them to be and giving a place to be expressed liberates them from the restrictions of resistance. By having invited them in, I’m no longer threatened by the disturbance I think they’re creating. By allowing them, I foster greater acceptance and compassion within myself. And, ironically, by letting go of the urge to change them into something more peaceful and palatable, I ultimately allow them to change me and find peace in the process.

The five paintings included in this issue are selections produced from 2009 to 2018 from various collections.

Laura Vitale is an artist, musician, and dreamworker who lives in Santa Cruz, CA. For the past 42 years she has been living with a debilitating neuro-immune disease known as myalgic encephalomyelitis or ME, but she has not allowed it to define her. In 2007 she was inspired by a dream to devote herself to process painting and has produced nearly 500 paintings and several books of artwork in the years since. You can find Laura’s work on her website, her Bandcamp page, her YouTube channel, and Facebook.